My 4 Year-Old Is Out Of Control: How to Handle Put Of Control 4 Year-old Kids?

Giving birth to a healthy baby is always a blessing. I mean you get the chance to be united with the angel you have been carrying in your berry for nine months is always every pregnant woman’s dream. Kids are cute, I remember I would watch my son fall asleep on my arms and this was the most beautiful thing. However, things can really change fast when your kids grow a bit older and are about 4 years old and they turn aggressive and out of control. Personally, when my 4-year-old got out of control, I really felt bad as a parent and I thought I had failed.

Nowadays it has become a norm for parents to complain about their 4-year-old kids getting out of control. And, the question is: have we failed as parents? The heart of the matter is that we have played a role in the increased uncontrolled kid’s behavior. How?

Ways to which we have contributed to the unruly behavior of our 4-year-old kids

In attempts to try and understand why our 4 years old get out of control, various research have been conducted and the results might surprise you. The following are some of the major reasons that cause kids to get out of control.

1. Mobile phones

Currently, my son is 7 years old and he is already demanding that I buy him a cell phone. Well, there is nothing wrong with that but back in our days as we were growing up I didn’t have a mobile phone until I was 18 years old. On the brighter side, technology helps our kids in studying and socializing but have you ever thought of the damage that it causes? Well, getting back to our 4-year-old getting out of control, again don’t be surprised if your 4-year-old son or daughter asks for a mobile phone. Hello, when I was that age all I did was eat dirt. My son always got aggressive every time he wanted to have my mobile phone and I didn’t give in. And, to my surprise, I came to realize later that this has been quite a trend with most of the kids recently.

2. Television


Even at my age, I love watching the TV, I would stay indoors for a whole weekend just watching my favorite cartoons and not get bored. Kids to love the TV, however, if you are not quite careful on what your kids are watching they might end up learning aggression from it.

3. Sugar diet

After weaning, as a parent, I wasn’t really content with my son's feeding habits. I, however, discovered that he liked sweet things and due to my desperation I started feeding him a high sugar diet just to make him eat more. All was going well until my doctor asked me to change the formula and he wouldn’t take anything that wasn’t sweet. Being more specific he would spit virtually everything I fed him that wasn’t sweet.

Examples of ways in which my 4-year-old kid got out of control

· Throwing food during meal times

· Intentionally throwing toys or breaking them

· Hitting their siblings

· Refusing to comply with rules

How to handle a 4-year-old who is out of control?

Kids and especially 4-year-olds have a problem handling their emotions and this makes them get aggressive and out of control. Well, some of the aggression is ignorable but if it reaches a point where he is a huge risk to himself, his siblings and to you: then you need to take action. The following are some of the ways in which you can handle your kid who is out of control.

1. Stay calm

Personally, I am hot tempered and every time my 4-year-old got out of control I would shout at him. But, it never helped. If you reciprocate aggression to your 4-year-old chances are things shall get worse. On the contrary, it is advisable that anytime your kid is out of control you should always try and keep calm.

2. Set a good example

Never get aggressive while in front of your 4-year-old. They see you as a role model and will tend to emulate everything that you do. If you must get aggressive, Hello, I understand there are those moments when you and your spouse can’t get along and you get out of control. It’s normal and understandable, but please try not to do it in front of your kid since this will be setting a bad example to them. There was a time I was hanging out with my friends and since it was in the evening and getting cold one of my friends asked her 8-year-old daughter to wear a sweater to avoid catching a cold, she responded “mum why do you want me to wear a sweater while you are in a crop top?” Honestly, we all froze.

3. Set rules

It’s a fact kids hate rules but as a parent, you need to set rules and be consistent to see to it that they are followed. Set rules on what time your 4-year-old should sleep, what he/she should watch on the TV the things that need not be touched… And, don’t just set the rules. Have your 4-year-old know that if they disobey the rules there are consequences. I hated the fact that I really had to punish my son but it was for a worthy course. Every time he disobeyed me I made sure he didn’t watch his favorite cartoon as part of the punishment. Whatever forms of punishment you choose to install just ensure that you are firm on it and this will help get your kid who is out of control back on track.

4. Find out the cause of aggression

As most parents would affirm, punishment doesn’t always work out. As a parent, it is essential to try and find out what causes your kid to get out of control. At 4 years old kids are not rational but you can try and talk to them and make them understand that you are not happy when they do a certain thing.

5. Don’t reward undesirable behavior

When my son was 4 years old he would get aggressive every time he wanted to have my phone and I didn’t give in but, this didn’t last long since I had to buy a new mobile phone every week since he spoiled the older one mostly by dropping it. No matter how tempting it is, never reward your kid’s undesirable behavior.


It is my hope that you enjoyed this tutorial and most importantly found it useful. Most parents have been complaining about their 4-year-old getting out of control, on the brighter side, this won’t be an issue to you anymore since this article has walked you through some of the ways in which you can control your 4-year-old. Don’t keep all this knowledge to yourself, share this article with a friend or two and don’t forget to leave a comment in the comment section below.

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Jennifer Shackelford

Hi, I’m Jennifer, the founder and editor of On The Mama Needs, I write about experience with pregnancy, raising kids, and nutrition for both kids and expectant moms.. I love that blogging brings parents together and lets our readers know they’re not the only ones going through these experiences. I love seeing comments on my posts that say “I thought it was just me! I’m so glad it’s not!” Being a parent is hard, but friends and blogs really help.

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